Holy Crossover, Batman!
by Katequestie
Summary: Imagine what fun is had when Lucas gets shore leave in Gotham City...!
1. Episode 1

Author's Notes: This is a VERY silly little crossover between seaQuest and the campy 1960s Batman TV show. Sadistic Questie and I wrote it as a round robin, so don't be too picky about the details... ;-) Beware, insanity abounds in this little baby! And hey, visit the home of this and many other seaQust fics at our headquarters, ELF Central: http://www.angelfire.com/my/elfcentral!

Disclaimer: No, we don't own anything in this fic. No, we are not getting paid for this. If we were, we'd work a lot faster on it.

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode I: Plot Set-Up

A blue-plaid and baggy panted streak dashed through the corridors of seaQuest. Crew mates plastered themselves against the metallic walls to avoid impact. Upon entering the bridge, the streak came to a halt.

Captain Nathan Bridger turned around from talking to an ensign to stare at the intruder.

"Good morning, Lucas," he greeted.

Lucas Wolenczak grinned. "Is it true?" He asked hopefully.

Still remaining calm, much to the annoyance of Lucas, Bridger smiled. "Is what true?"

Exasperated, Lucas explained, "Are we going on shore leave?"

"Oh. Yes," he replied simply as he turned back around.

"Captain!"

Bridger about faced. He knew he was trying the boy's patience, but it was so much fun. "Yes?"

"Where!?!"

"No where special," he shrugged.

Lucas was speechless. How could he not see the importance of the matter!?! They were going on shore leave!

Bridger's grin grew wider, "Just Gotham City."

"What!?! Gotham City!?! All right!" The teen practically skipped off the bridge.

Tony Picallo leaned over from his console, "Couldn't a done it better myself, Sir."

~

Lucas skipped down the hallway back to his quarters. He was so happy, he could hardly contain himself. Shore leave! And, in Gotham City, of all places! He stopped short. And let out a yelp of joy. Ignoring the strange looks of the crew passing by, he continued on to his quarters. They should be used to my antics by now anyway, he thought as he turned the corner.

~

"Come on, come on..." Lucas paced impatiently in front of the vid link. He couldn't wait to see her again. They hadn't spoken since they had graduated from Stanford together. She had gone back to live with her father and he had gone to on to seaQuest; not the most manageable of long distance relationships.

Finally, the screen beeped and her image replaced the UEO logo on the screen. Barbara Gordon looked up at him surprised. "Lucas?" Is that you? Oh my gosh - it's been forever!"

They smiled at each other for a few moments, each lost in their own memories.

"Well.." She broke the silence then, fiddling with some papers on her desk. "How have you been? You look good."

He felt his cheeks blush red a little and his gaze fell to his feet. "I'm great. I love it here on seaQuest."

Barbara gave him a warm smile, "That's great, Lucas. To tell you the truth, I was wondering what you were going to do after graduation."

"Yeah, well, my dad dumped me here. I didn't think I'd like it, but it's pretty cool. There are a lot of nice people here."

"Speaking of your father, congratulations on his business deal."

"What deal?"

"He made some sort of business contract with Wayne Industries a couple of weeks ago. It was all over the front page of every newspaper in the city."

"I hadn't heard. I don't really hear that much from him down here."

"I can imagine. So, anyway, any particular reason why you called?"

Lucas' manner brightened, "Oh yeah! Guess what!"

"What?"

"We have shore leave and we're going to be docked in Gotham City!"

"You're kidding! This is great! Where are you going to stay?"

"Depends on where the captain will let me stay. I might have to stay in a hotel with the rest of the crew."

Barbara made a disgusted face, "Aww. Well, if you can, see if you could stay with Daddy and me. My apartment is being remodeled, so I'm staying withÊ hi for the time being."

Lucas smiled at the reference. She was over twenty years old and a graduate of Stanford, but she still referred to her father as "Daddy."

"Okay, I'll run it by the captain. Listen, I gotta go. The captain wanted me on the bridge in ten minutes. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure, when do you dock?"

"Day after tomorrow. I can't wait to see you again in person."

"Me too. I'll see you soon!"

She flicked off the vid link and left Lucas staring at a blank screen. He sat there for a couple of minutes before he realized that he still had a stupid grin on his face. Eventually, he got up and headed for the bridge. But before he opened the port to his quarters, he stopped himself.

Thinking out loud, he said, "There's only one thing to do in a situation like this: strut."


	2. Episode 2

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode II: Enter Supervillian...

Meanwhile, deep in the depths of Gotham City, evil lurked. A 5'6, 170 pound evil. Laughter- evil laughter- rose from the depths, the only indication to the casual observer that any living thing was down there in the sewers. 

The laughter rose to a climax and then ebbed, as the Riddler finished his "gift." Putting on the finishing touches to the package, he called in his henchmen. 

"Deliver this to Commissioner Gordon's manor." He started to laugh again, this time even more evilly, if such a thing were possible. "He will rue the day he locked the Riddler up! Hehehe!" 

~

When Tony Piccolo arrived in the docking bey, Lucas was pacing in front of the launch. He smiled at the scene. It wasn't often that the kid got so excited about something non-computer related. Not that Piccolo didn't understand-- it was shore leave, for heaven's sake! He walked up beside the boy and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Excited, Luke?"

"What do you think?" He grinned happily. "It's shore leave and the Captain let me stay with Barb... a friend."

"A... 'friend?'"

"Yes, Tony, a friend," Lucas said, growing impatient. "When are we going to leave?"

"Well, ya' know, I heard that we might be delayed for a couple of hours."

"What?!?'

"Whoa, just kiddin', Luke." Lucas gave a loud sigh, obviously not amused. "We should be leaving in a few minutes," Tony said with a laugh. "Come on, let's get on the shuttle. You got your bag?"

"Yeah, let's go." The duo stepped onto the launch and sat down in two of the passenger seats. "So, Tony," Lucas said, "what are you doing for shore leave?"

"Just the usual; hitting the clubs, hopefully meet a girl or two... ya know, the normal stuff." He grinned mischievously at the boy. "So, back to this 'friend' of yours..."

"Tony..."

"Hey, I'm your roommate! I deserve to know the juicy stuff. How else am I supposed to start rumors around here?"

"Tony!"

"All right, all right! Man, you show a little concern and you get ya' head bitten off."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Concern? More like indications of malicious intent!"

"Hey, Luke, try not to be so wordy with your 'friend.' She-- I mean he-- might not like your smart mouth."

The teen smiled. "Don't worry, Tony. She-- I mean he-- graduated from Stanford too, and is just as wordy with me sometimes."


	3. Episode 3

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode III: Begin the Antagonism of the Protagonist

Lucas waved at the Fed-Ex man as he walked up the sidewalk towards the large two-story brick house. Little did he know that the Fed-Ex man was in fact... duh duh duh- one of the Riddler's henchmen! (Bat-gasp!) He merrily continued in his way, almost skipping up to the door before skidding to a halt as it suddenly swung open.

Standing before him was a beautiful redheaded goddess, clad in plaid with a huge smile pasted onto her face. He stared at her for a second as she engulfed him in a huge bear hug.

"Lucas! I'm so glad you're here!" She released him and gave him a peck on the cheek. He blushed as she pulled him inside and instructed the maid to carry his bag to one of the guest bedrooms. 

"Miss Gordon?" An elderly English butler of the Alfred-type approached them with a small package. "This just arrived for you, Madam."

"Thank you, James." He nodded to her as she took the brown box and then again to Lucas as he left. Barbara turned her attention to the package in her hands. "I wonder what this could be." Puzzled, she tore at the brown paper. It fell to reveal a green, wooden box. She exchanged a look with Lucas before unfastening the latch and lifting the lid. The box then dropped to the floor as an opaque smoke started to hiss out of it. Barbara grabbed Lucas' hand and together they started to run out the door, but the gas was quicker, and before they could get far, the world turned black as they fell to the floor, unconscious.

~

Commissioner Gordon stopped pacing and glanced at his watch. 2:45. Barbara and her college friend were an hour and a half late meeting him for lunch. He sighed, his brows furrowed in worry as he once again dialed the number for his home. He had called once every ten minutes for the past half an hour, and he had yet to get an answer.

It rang several times before a voice answered, "Gordon residence."

"James, it's Jim. Let me speak with Barbara."

"Sir, there seems to be a problem with that."

"Excuse me?"

"Miss Gordon is... missing, sir."

"Missing?!?"

"Yes, sir. Both her and Mr. Walenczak have... disappeared."

"Dis-disappeared?"

"Yes, sir."

"James, I'm coming home." He didn't wait for an answer; he just let the phone fall from his hand to the floor and steadied himself on his desk. He was in shock. His head felt light and there was this knawing ache in his stomach...

His gaze fell on the red phone under glass on the corner of his desk. 

~

The Riddler laughed and frolicked around like a little schoolgirl. Everything was going as planned, even better! Now he had two hostages to work with. He just needed to go about finding out who his unexpected guest was... He raised both of his hands to his chest and tapped his fingers together, Mr. Burns style.

"Excellent," he said sinisterly. "Excellent."

~

"Excuse me sir, but you have a phone call," Alfred said, handing the red phone to his multimillionaire boss, Bruce Wayne. 

"Thank you, Alfred," Bruce said. He and his youthful ward Dick Grayson were lounging in the Library, catching up on their summer reading. His voice deepening, he answered. "Yes, Commissioner?"

"Batman, we've got an emergency. It's Barbara. She and one of her friends are missing. They were supposed to meet me over an hour ago," Gordon explained.

"We'll be at HQ as soon as we can." Hanging up the phone, Bruce turned to his ward who had walked up next to him during his phone call. "Dick, to the Batcave!"

~

The dynamic duo slid down their poles in their everyday clothes, but by the time they reached the bottom, they wore their full superhero attire.

"Robin, to the Batmobile!"

"Holy emergency, Batman! What's going on?" Robin exclaimed as they hopped into the conveniently unlocked, open roof of the ridiculously long car. 

"Commissioner Gordon's daughter, Barbara has been kidnapped along with a friend of hers, Robin."

"Holy predicament! Any clues as to who done it?"

"Who did it, Robin, and not yet, but we're heading to the Gotham City Police Headquarters now. Hold on, old chum."

~

Lucas woke up in a large room. Upon looking around to get his bearings, he discovered that he was tied to a chair next to Barbara, who was in the same position.

"Babs?"

"Hmmm?"

"Babs, are you awake?"

"Huh?" Barbara opened her eyes and looked at her situation, much like Lucas had done moments before. "Lucas, what's going on?"

"I was just going to ask you the same thing."

The conversation was cut off as a wiry man bounced into the room with a group of idiotic henchmen dressed in suits pertaining to what the strange man was dressed in: question marks. 

"Good morning, kiddies!" The man beamed.

"Riddler! What do you want?" Barbara demanded.

"And give away my plan? Don't you know that all villains who give their plots away too early are condemned to fail?"

"Riddler?" Lucas was obviously lost.

"So, Barbara, would you like to introduce me to your little friend?" The Riddler moved towards Lucas to get a better look at him.

"Leave him alone!" 

"No, Babs, don't try to protect me!" He said dramatically. Turning his attention to the Riddler, he said, "Let her go. You only need one hostage."

A devious smile crossed the madman's face. "But when you have two, you can kill one!"

~

"Commissioner!" Batman and Robin shouted together as they crashed through the door. Robin initiated the conversation.

"Where was Barbara last seen?"

"At home. James, our butler, said that she just disappeared. 

Swishing his cape in front of Robin, Batman began. "I suggest we go directly to your home, Commissioner."

~

Arriving at the Gordon's home, the three were greeted by James.

"Welcome home, sir."

"James, where was the last place that you saw her?"

"She was standing with her young friend here in the entryway, Master Gordon. A Fed-Ex man had just delivered a package and I gave it to her."

Batman raised a hand to his chin. "Hmmm... what was in the package, good citizen? And who sent it?"

"Why, I don't know, sir. I left before she opened it and I don't recall seeing a return address."

"Holy vanishing act!" Robin jumped in. "Where is the package now?"

"I took the liberty of sealing off the front entranceway. I left everything the way I found it, sir." He led them to the hallway and opened the door. "Will you be needing my services any longer, Master Gordon?"

"No, James. Thank you." He nodded and left for the kitchen. The trio entered the hallway and looked around. The wooden box lay on the floor in the middle of the entranceway. Taking out the Batgloves, Batman put them on and picked up the box. On the lid he saw a handwritten note that read: 

_Roses are red,  
Violets are blue  
I've got your daughter  
And her little friend, too.  
Don't try to save her  
Ôcause Gordy, you'll find  
your baby and her friend  
will wind up in a bind!_

Surrounding the note were little green question marks. Instantly, the duo looked at each other and said in unison, "The Riddler!"

"Do you really think so?" Gordon said hopefully, as if he, being the police commissioner, he couldn't have come up with that exact same conclusion himself.

"I'm positive, Commissioner," Batman replied. "We need to get this back to the cave to run some tests. Don't worry. Barbara will be fine. One more question, though. Who exactly was this friend of hers?"

"An old college buddy, Lucas Walenczak."

"Walenczak... like Walenczak Industries?" Robin piped in. "Holy yuppie, Batman!"

"Now Robin, you must not assume that this poor boy in the clutches of the Riddler is a yuppie just because he is the son of a multimillionaire."

"Yeah, I know, Batman. I'm sorry."

"Well then, old chum, to the Batcave!"


	4. Episode 4

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode IV: Holy leaps of logic, Batman!

"Batman, do you really think that we can find Barbara?" Robin asked tentatively as they waited for the results of the test on the box in the Batcave.

"Don't worry, Dick. I'm sure we will find her." A high pitched BEEP told them that the Bat-computer was finished analyzing the box. A small printout slowly came from the machine. 

"HmmmÉ" Batman said as he pondered the results.

"No fingerprintsÉ no traces of any foreign substance... absolutely no convenient leads that we usually get to go from." He crumpled up the sheet and threw it in the bin marked "Bat-trash."

"Holy swish, Batman!"

Batman looked at Robin a few moments before saying, "Not your best, huh Dick?"

~

Lucas squinted in the light that suddenly erupted into the room. The Riddler held a newspaper in his evil hand like a trophy.

"So," he began in his high pitched voice, "You're Lucas Walenczak." Of course, he butchered the pronunciation of the name.

Lucas gulped. 

"The same name of the famous scientist who just signed a deal with Wayne Industries!"

Lucas gulped.

The Riddler continued his rant. "The same Walenczak that I used to work for a few years ago."

Lucas gulped. His father and his employees were usually not on good terms, especially ex-employees.

"I was one of his top scientists, until he fired me!"

Lucas gulped. Here comes the sob story...

"I was in the middle of a huge breakthrough in my pet project. Then he ripped my moment of greatness from me! He took away all of my funding, my equipment, my life away from me. He threw me out into the vicious, cold, cruel world!"

Lucas gulped.

Barbara turned sharply at Lucas. "Stop that!"

"Sorry."

~

"Well, Robin, this leaves us with one option."

"What's that, Batman?"

"The note." Batman grabbed the Riddler's note and read it out loud to Robin. "Now, there are five words that are underlined: roses, violets, baby, and wind up."

"What could it mean, Batman?" Robin was doing his best to sound like the ever-helpful sidekick.

"A flower shop, a baby store, and a toy store!" Batman declared. "Get me a map of Gotham City." The youth quickly obliged. "Thank you," Batman said as Robin handed him the map. "Now, if I remember back to eighth grade trigonometry, I can find out where the Riddler is keeping those poor citizens."

"How's that, Batman?"

"The three locations form a triangle. I'll bet in the center of that triangle lies the Riddler's hideout."

"Gee golly, Batman. I'll never neglect my math again! But there's one thing I don't understand. Why a triangle?"

"Shut up, Robin."


	5. Episode 5

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode V: Kate saves the story from JaimeeÕs writerÕs block!

Lucas stifled a gulp as the Riddler ordered his henchman to bring Lucas with him to the central room. He waited in tense silence on a vid-phone. Soon Dr. Wolenczak's face appeared on the screen.

"What the- who are you and what is the meaning of this? How did you get my personal number?!?"

"Dr. Wolenczak, I suggest you shut your mouth and listen if you want your son back- alive!"

"Excuse me? How dare you threaten me!"

"Bring him here!" Riddler's henchmenÑ who were wearing shirts that conveniently read "Riddler's Henchmen"Ñ shoved Lucas into the center of the room, and into the view of the vid-phone.

"Lucas? What have you done now?" His face was quickly turning beet red. "What have I told you about getting kidnapped?"

"I'm sorry, Dad."

"Dr. Wolenczak, I suggest you listen for once." He paused dramatically. "Either I get the formula, or your son gets it. Got it?"


	6. Episode 6

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode VI: Jaimee rolls her eyes at Kate and continues

"Aha!" Batman stood and pointed a finger to the sky. 

"What is it, Batman?" Robin stood eagerly as well.

"I've found it. According to this map of Gotham City, the Riddler's hideout is in the sewer!"

Robin's face fell. After all, there were only certain lengths a superhero could go to in saving someone... "Well, um, you know, I'd love to help and all, but I've got a paper due tomorrow and-"

"No time to feel skittish, Robin. Grab the Bat-swimsuits!"

~

"You wouldn't dare! Don't try to scare me, you freak! I've handled worse punctuation nazis in my time!" Dr. Wolenczak spat out.

"Punctuation nazi? What are you babbling about?" The Riddler questioned indignantly.

"The little question marks on your tights."

"Tights?!? I'll have you know that this is a tailored stretch body suit!"

Dr. Wolenczak rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Oh, wait, call on the other line." His face disappeared. 

The Riddler twirled around to face Lucas. "How do you live with him?"

"I don't. He sent me to live on a war submarine."

"Why that little... I'll... Doesn't anyone uphold family values anymore?!? That does it! You will be my apprentice. You will inherit my evil laughter and my diabolical pondering skills. You, my boy, will be my son!"

Lucas gulped. 

Just then Dr. Wolenczak's image came back on screen. The Riddler focused his attention back on the doctor. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, but it seems that I am no longer in need of your services."

"But-"

"Thank you," the Riddler said, just before he shut the link off and turned his attention back to Lucas. He placed an arm around the boy's trembling shoulders and led him out of the room. Evil laughter floated in from the corridor.

~

"Batman, what are we going to do? We have to get Barbara back," Robin whined as he got into his suit. 

"Don't get your panties in a wad, Robin. To the Batmobile!"

The dynamic duo ran to the ridiculously long car and jumped in as chase music played in the background.


	7. Episode 7

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode VII: Oh, Horror!

Lucas stared at his reflection in the mirror. The Riddler had forced him to dress in a horribly outrageous costume. Little black question marks covered the entirety of the green stretch material. He shivered. And this was only the beginning...

Suddenly, the door burst open and the Riddler appeared in the doorway. In a raspy voice, he said, "Lucas, I am your father!" They paused, and Lucas stared at the strange man who then coughed to clear his throat. "What?"

"Evil doers," Lucas scoffed. 

Getting back into character, the Riddler slowly circled Lucas' petrified form. "Good, good... but there's still something missing." He smiled diabolically as he slowly reached his hands down to two objects holstered to his hips. Lucas backed away slowly, afraid of what horrific experience the Riddler had in store for him next.

Quickly, the Riddler whipped out two cans of red hair dye and whirled them around like a cowboy from the old west.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" Lucas' horrified scream echoed through the sewers. "Please," he begged. "Anything but that!" Lucas backed up until his back hit the wall. There was no escape. "You can't!"

"Oh, but I can!" He inched closer and closer. "Soon, Lucas, you transformation will be complete and you will help me take over Gotham City!"

His evil laughter was cut short when a deep female voice spoke from the doorway. "Stop right there, Riddler!"

Grinning, he turned on his heels to face Batgirl, standing like Wonder Woman with her hands on her hips in the doorway. "Batgirl! How nice of you to join us."

Lucas looked, puzzled, at the figure. What is Barbara doing in that getup? He thought. And why is the Riddler calling her Batgirl?

"It's too late! You can't stop me now!" The Riddler turned to Lucas with insane laughter. He lifted the bottles of hair dye into the air and aimed them at Lucas' poofy blond hair.

Frantically Lucas' eyes darted across the room to find any type of escape, but the Riddler had backed him into a corner. Seeing no other option, Lucas formed his plan of escape. In point five seconds, he calculated the exact angle of 23.1693 degrees with a velocity of 13.1126 m/s, took two fingers in each hand and jabbed the Riddler directly under his ribs. "Poke!" Lucas screamed in a high-pitched voice.

"Ahhh!" The Riddler screamed and dropped to the floor, convulsing.

"Come on, Lucas!" Batgirl yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room.

"Barbara, what is going on? Why are you dressed in that getup?"

She stopped and gave him a look. "How did you know it was me?"

Now it was his turn to look patronizingly at her. "Come on, Babs. Did you actually think that outfit was gonna fool anyone?"

"Hey, I thought it was pretty good!" she replied defensively. Hearing footsteps behind her, she grabbed his arm and pulled him behind her down the sewer corridor. "Come on!"

"What kind of name is Batgirl, anyway?" he muttered under his breath.


	8. Episode 8

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode VIII: Do you smell something?

Robin peered into the darkness of the sewer, praying that Alfred would be able to get the stink out of his tights when they got home. 

He grunted as Batman stopped suddenly, forcing Robin to crash into him. "Do you see something, Batman?" he questioned.

"No, Robin, but I think I just stepped in a steaming pile of dog-"

~

Batgirl and Lucas ran down the sewer, ignoring their surroundings and concentrating only on their escape. Lucas had no clue as to where they were but trusted Barbara- Batgirl- to find a way out. From the way she was taking him down turn after turn, she knew these sewers well, which kind of scared him.

Suddenly she stopped after turning a corner to find the Riddler and three of his henchmen standing in front of them. Inconspicuously, she moved so that she was standing between the Riddler and Lucas.

"I'm not going to let you have him, Riddler!"

"Oh, don't make promises you can't keep, Batgirl!" He took a menacing step closer. "You've already helped Barbara Gordon escape. I'm not letting you take him as well!"

Lucas slapped his forehead in frustration. Super-villains could be SO dense...

"You'll have to get through me, first!" Batgirl took up her super-hero stance, legs apart, her hands balled up in fists on her hips.

"My pleasure. Henchmen!"

Suddenly, the group could hear victory music playing and on the other side of the Riddler appeared none other than Batman and Robin!

"Ready, Robin?"

"Oh yeah, Batman!" The duo smacked their fists into their palms and took off fighting. 

BIFF!! Batman scored an undercut to one of the henchmen, sending him flying backwards. He grabbed the arms of another henchman, whirled him around and BAM!! Let him soar into the wall.

Meanwhile, Robin was kicking some ass of his own. Ducking from a punch, he came up, kneed his opponent in the stomach, and WHACK!! Connected his foot with the henchman's head. Whirling around, he ran to help Batgirl, who was being dragged around by her hair.

After throwing her attacker into a pile of conveniently placed wooden crates and, taking a second to ponder what the boxes were doing in the sewer, Batgirl looked around. "Where's Lucas?"

Robin gasped. "Batgirl, over there!" He pointed farther down the hallway to where the Riddler had Lucas in a headlock. Batman stood in front of them, trying vainly to gain control of the situation.

"Don't do it, Riddler."

He laughed maniacally. "And just how do you plan to stop me?"

"A challenge," Batman pulled off his glove and slapped the Riddler in the face with it. "I challenge you to a game of Egyptian Rat Screw! The winner will get the boy."

"Excuse me?" Lucas spoke up from his uncomfortable position. "The 'boy' has a name and is standing right here-"

"Shut up, Lucas!" The four others yelled in unison.

"Well pardon me! It's only my life they're playing a card game over..." he mumbled.

Sighing, the Riddler shook his head and turned back to Batman. "I accept your challenge."

~

Batman sat in a chair across from the Riddler. Separating them was a table with an unorganized stack of cards. Batman slapped a card down and mistakenly took his hand away. What he didn't see was a pair of twos! The Riddler let out a shrill cry of victory, slapped the deck, and collected the cards.

"Drat!" Batman snapped his fingers.

"Holy close calls!" Robin snapped as well. "He only has one card left."

Confidently, the Riddler put down the next card.

"A jack! Beat that, my pointy-eared foe!"

Lucas leaned over to Robin and whispered in his ear. "Shouldn't we be getting out of here now? Batman only has one card left and the Riddler just put down a jack!"

"Nonsense, good citizen. This is a challenge and we live by the honor code."

"But-"

"Shh, he needs to concentrate."

Lucas rolled his eyes. Great. Just great.

Batman crossed his fingers and reluctantly put the card down. It was a jack as well! Batman and the Riddler lunged for the two cards at the same time, crashing into each other.

"Yes!" cried the Riddler. "My hand is on the bottom!"

Batman smiled. "Tut tut, my wiry friend. My finger is under your hand!"

"Curses!"

Robin turned to Lucas. "You see? Good always comes out ahead of evil."


	9. Episode 9

Holy Crossover Batman! Episode VIV: Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!

Lucas stood regarding himself in front of the mirror in his quarters, his bed-sheet wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. His hands were balled on his hips in a bad imitation of Babs in her 'Batgirl' persona.

"I... AM... BATMAN!" He cried, throwing his head back and tossing his hair. 

Sound from the doorway made him tear the sheet from his shoulders and turn around faster than he would have thought was humanly possible. In the doorframe was Tony Picallo, doubled over in a fit of laughter.

"You... you..." Tony gasped, trying to form words and catch his breath at the same time. "You are so cute!"

"Shut up, Tony." Lucas crossed his arms and slumped down in his desk chair.

Tony straitened and closed the hatch behind him. He chuckled as he pulled up Lucas' discarded cape and draped it around his own shoulders. "I am... Batman..." He could barely get the phrase out before he was overcome with laughter. 

"Are you done?" Lucas slumped even farther down in his chair. 

"Luke, come on, man. That was one of the funniest things I have ever seen! As your roommate, I reserve the right to make fun of you, as well as spread this around the boat!"

"Oh, come on, Tony! You can't tell anyone about this!" 

"Oh yeah? And just how are you going to stop me? Are you gonna use your Bat-memory eraser? Or maybe you can call Robin..." Tony once again slid to the floor, unable to speak through the laughter. Lucas, thoroughly embarrassed, got up from his chair and picked up his discarded cape/ bedsheet. 

Tony, having once again gotten himself under control, decided to move in for the kill. 

"Look, Luke, I won't tell anyone. Come on, man. Bygones, 'k?" He stood up and moved to the door, knowing that as soon as he relayed his information, he would most likely be in need of a hasty exit. "I came by to see if you wanted to come to Tim's movie night. Everyone's gonna be there. I'll even make you some popcorn. What do you say?"

Lucas, still a little red, refused to turn around, but was curious none the less. "What movie is it?"

"Oh, just some old flick from the 20th century." He paused dramatically, giving him time to open the hatch door. "It's called... Batman Forever!" He slammed the door before Lucas' thrown pillow could reach him. 

Lucas smiled to himself. If only he knew...

THE END... or is it?

Kate Questie and Sadistic Questie 9-6-01

Author's Notes: Egad! It's finished! Wow... I just wanted everyone to know that this fic was two years in the making, and only because Sadistic Questie had to go to that stupid smart person's college... damn techies... She wanted to write the ending, but you know what? A girl can only take an unfinished fic for so long... Maybe I can convince her to get her nose out of those books long enough to write the ending she had in mind... ;-) I have to admit, this was probably the most fun I've had writing a fic. Hope y'all had as much fun reading this thing as we had writing it!


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